I have never been particularly good at identifying what I need. I don’t mean the food, oxygen, water types of need. I mean the “I need a vacation” statements that other people make.

• I admire those who know that type of thing.
• I just need to lie down.
• I just need a few days off.
• I need some sun.
• I need to eat something.

Those all sound a bit like traps to me. What if you take some time off and still feel kinda shitt?
I don’t exactly know why I don’t what I need but mostly I don’t. I realize when people say that they need this or that, they really mean that they could return to  a better state of mind, or just feel a bit better. They don’t really think they “NEED” it either.
I admire that quality: the ability to identify what is going to help you feel better and then taking care of it. Suffering through some type of unpleasantness is a requirement of daily life. We all have jobs or do things that don’t provide 100% ecstasy all the time. Even if you are one of those people who loves their job, it has its tedium too, right?
But why I seem to be inclined to just suffer a bit more. I at least know that I am a bit off. I should start to look for what might make me feel better.
I think something like meditation helps me do that. Forcing myself to just sit quietly for ten minutes generally does feel good. I don’t know why. And I was skeptical but doing it seemed to help me. It is an attempt at a basic level to just get your brain out of some kind state where you don’t have control over your thoughts. I’m sure there is a better explanation than that because reading it back, it sounds like nonsense. Sounds a bit like yourself telling yourself it is not listening to yourself. Hey you, you are talking to you!
Today, I’m trying to just tune into that a little bit. I wanted to write a blog post to get this off my chest. Well I did that. And if feels pretty good.
I also want to “not be at work.” I don’t want to check my email or really worry about anything that happened this week. It wasn’t terrible but it was far from fun. And indeed, it was not a normal week.
It’s hot here too. It’s a good day to just relax, stay out of the sun and pick your spots for being active. That all sounds like “what I need.”