I have discovered the joy of change in my life. I was not a lover of change in the past, but now I am looking forward to it. Amy is changing things in her life too. She is leaving the Big Company in Redmond at the end of January.
We will be working for ourselves in some form or fashion as we move forward. That is a big change.
We will be working for ourselves in some form or fashion as we move forward. That is a big change.
In some ways, I expected to be more nervous about.I am suprised that I’m not. However, I am pleased to be adjusting well to this. The peace of mind is, I think, the result of a lot of so-called inner work. For me, that means a combination of talk therapy, what I learned in therapy, and my own exploration of my complex of emotions. Also, a lot of walking.
Now that no one will have any specific working-for-the-man obligations, it opens a scary box of what do you actually want to do? The past two years of working for myself have provided me with a lot of time to think about that too. The results are amazing: I still don’t know.
I have decided that the important fact there is the indecision. Facing the fact that I don’t have clarity of purpose tells me something on its own. I have liked the work that I’ve done recently. In particular, I like working with non-profits. You feel really good helping them (for free or for pay). I also like that size of business. Mostly they have clear problems and the solutions are within the framework of typical business.
I would have thought I would feel more drive to “create.” I really love creating. I love seeing other people do it and doing it myself. And I like doing. Doing soemthing isn’t always an act of bringing something to the universe. It is a contrast to the act of watching TV. But practicing an instrument, a craft, even making a puzzle is a level of engagement that feels good when you do it.
Creation comes in many shapes and sizes too. When Zuckerberg created Facebook, it was a simple act of creation. No one could possible anticipate that it would be come the Facebook we know now. It is essentially a piece of social infrastructure and that is laudable. But he did not conceive of it beyond his college experience.
Facebook has become something that scares me too like TV. I don’t want to depend on it. I want less Facebook in my life and more music. That doesn’t diminish the awe I have for Facebook. I also have awe for nuclear fission. That can be scary and powerful too.
In order to keep an certain amount of optimism in my life, I need to limit the effects of nuclear fall-out and Facebook. One is relatively easy and the other is surprisingly hard. With nukes, I’m just hoping for the best. With Facebook, it is a conscious act of keeping that addictive thing at bay. Not eliminated but also measured exposure, because it creeps into the cracks and suddenly takes my attention from other things.
Maybe it’s music. Maybe it’s writing. Maybe it’s just stillness by a pond. Either way, I am trying to create some space for those things without a lot of expectation that I need to create the next Facebook-level masterpiece.
Change is coming and that’s my intention at present.
I wonder if the flow of life brings into the Forms it creates its own power, i.e. constructive and destructive energy. Or are we just puppets? But a puppet that falls down creates energy. Many things seem to be loaded with a certain potential of creativity. We are creations of this flow of life. Do we have to believe that we must trust this strength, at least before it totally retrieves?
I deleted all Facebook bookmarks from my browser. I waste much less time there. I don't want to go cold turkey as I do appreciate some of it. Just making it slightly slower to log on seems to work for me.