You ain’t lazy

I hear people say, “I’m lazy.” I don’t think they are lazy most of the time. The concept of lazy, when applied like that, is like “potential.” I have even more distaste for the concept of potential.
I say it too. Lately, though, I have realized it is a sneaky form of self-hatred. Even if you want to do more, more of what?
What’s wrong with the amount of doing that you are already doing? And how does hating your level of doing help you get more done. And then what?
Somewhere between 10 and 18 I began to see myself as lazy. I don’t know where this came from. Laziness seems to be more damaging when it is self-inflicted. Potential is, generally, another persons pronouncement of your laziness.
I see now that I wasn’t so much lazy as insecure and perfectionistic. When I couldn’t do something perfectly, I procrastinated. (Psychological partners that are well known). For me, this was tuba playing and solfege (sight singing). Rather than take a class and invest the time needed, I dropped it. Two tweaks to my thinking would have been more beneficial in the long run. Do invest the time and accept something like 75 to 85 percent as okay. The mythology of being perfect is strong in music. As a professional you eventually learn that what separates the amateur from the pro isn’t mistakes but how they recover and move on.
French was similar for me, but eventually need propelled me forward there. Communication is far more important than a great grade. With music and language, you must try to do it in order to do it at all. If you don’t play harder pieces, you don’t ever improve your playing. If you don’t speak the language haltingly and stupid, you never will get to a point where you understand and express your own thoughts.
It’s not being lazy, It’s being afraid.
I see now that that age (18 to 22) is a bit more tender than I thought it was then. Yes you are an adult but you are not fully formed. Criticism should be spare. Encouragement and redirection tends to be more helpful. That’s my opinion now as I see my near 18 year old daughter move through her life.
Looking it at from another angle, we don’t call Tibetan monks lazy when they sit and meditate for many hours a day. We call them contemplative. Anyone who has sat still for more than 5 minutes knows that it isn’t easy. But to the external eye, sitting around all day is lazy in most contexts, isn’t it?
What’s the point if all this laziness goes away? What it everyone stopped being lazy? How bad would that be? We’d have a world of better amateur piano players and people who communicate better in more than one language? And how does that make the world a better place. I don’t see it being that much different.
We are going to all of a sudden have more productivity? Doesn’t that mean more consumption, too? We are going to grow more food ourselves because we have more gardens. We are going to make more money? Well not if we all become less lazy in proportion.
I’m just not seeing the upside. So maybe we could just stop saying we’re lazy and accept that who are is fine. You’re good. I’m good. Let’s have a coffee and be contemplative.