I was listening to yet another podcast of “interview with comedian.” In this case, it was the WTF podcast with Amy Poehler.
I’ve been attracted to this type of long-form interview, particularly with performers and I figured out why. It’s admiration and respect for what they do. They contribute. They add more to the world. They are insecure about it, but they do it anyway. I really like that.
At first I wondered why I liked the podcasts so much. I asked the question in an earlier blog. Could it be that I wanted to be a comedian? Could it be that I felt like I missed out on something, like that could be me? Did I have some weird fetish with comedians?
I like listening to other artists too. I enjoy reading biographies on occasion. But comedians really spell it out. Their medium is words. They try to make you understand. Other artists are not as articulate or word-based so that leaves you guessing. Not comedians. Even more than actors, they tell you about themselves in these interviews. An actor seems to be acting all the time. Or, what makes them good actors is they don’t have much awareness about themselves. Not all, of course, because some are very articulate and smart.
But comedians and comic actors are constantly putting themselves out there for criticism. Stand-ups are literally alone in a room full of people. They must figure it out if there is any hope of getting up again.
I respect that simply as a problem solver. I love being entertained too but I find it even more fascinating and long-lived (in my consciousness) to deconstruct that process of figure it out.
(It’s what I’m doing by writing this at all. Whoa. Wheels within wheels…)
I do wish that I could be more like that and I’m hoping to find a couple things from listening to such podcasts. On some level, I appreciate the validation that there are other people out there who have tackled this issue. They have looked within themselves and found the courage to do something difficult. Surgeons do it too. I appreciate that and if there is a surgeon on the podcast, I bet I’d enjoy that. And, no matter whether you like their comedy or not (no one loves it all), they are adding more to the world. Often it is looking at a situation through a slightly different vector. That’s more than yesterday.
I admire that they confront failure face-to-face too. Not ever joke lands. Not every sketch works. But they move on. Maybe wiser but definitely having tried.
It’s not that I feel unfulfilled and will die wondering. I don’t actually wonder. I know that if I wanted to go to an open mic night I could. I don’t want to do that. What I want to do is find ways in my own life, little ways, to push the envelope of failure. I want to cleverly find another vector to look at my own life, for example. And, I want to be a contributor, not just a user. I don’t need the spotlight for any of that.
