I’m an introvert

And it’s not a bad thing.
I had a bit of a breakthrough this week when someone told me the reason my boss drives me crazy is that she’s an extrovert. She’s an extrovert relating to me like an extrovert. When she does that, she essentially steals all the energy from me or anyone else in the room who’s an introvert.
I felt like Ben Stiller because I plaintively said, “I’m an introvert?” Rather than engaging the real point of the story, the dynamic between my boss and me, I was stuck on the premise.
I realized that I have always thought of myself as an extrovert and for some reason pitied (too strong? felt bad for) introverts. In some way I had extolled the virtue of extroverts and impugned the opposite of virtue from introverts. I don’t know why. On the various tests that you do, such as Myers-Briggs, I come up extrovert. But not overwhelmingly.
Plus, I know I’m social. I don’t get nervous in front of a crowd or classroom. I’m fundamentally not shy. I like telling jokes, and otherwise cutting up in groups. And I figure, with a large family, we must all be extroverts, either that or you starve for attention.
Guess what? Most of that’s true except for the conclusion! Which is another way of saying, I was wrong! We aren’t all extroverts. In fact, most and possibly all of us aren’t (that is, if I now understand the difference).
I guess I thought that being shy was the same as being an introvert. And being shy, somehow, seemed like an unfortunate thing. But even that sounds crazy now. I guess I equated being shy with somehow being out of touch, either with your own emotions or your own needs. I figured if you are shy then you must be an introvert. And if you aren’t (which I am not), then you mustn’t be an introvert.
But the more useful way for me to think of the polarity, is this:
Introverts: lose energy when acting in social settings. Eventually, all the energy is used up and must be marshaled again, usually by something more solitary.
Extroverts: gain energy when acting in social settings. It is how they marshal energy for themselves.
It’s not particularly scientific, granted. But sometimes, it is more of a mental framework for understand social and human dimensions rather than a measurable electronic voltage, per se. And if you remove the value judgment, then it seems more useful.